“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” – Wayne W. Dyer
Do feelings of shame, blame or guilt have you immobilized and unable to move forward?
Or perhaps self-judgement is preventing you from making positive change?
Maybe you are stuck in worry, afraid to make a decision or change your situation?
Watch the video to learn how you can break the blame-shame cycle.
Often when dealing with a challenge or difficult situation, we struggle with negative self talk which is accompanied by feelings of shame, blame, guilt and judgement. Consider that the source of these negative emotions is your perception of the event and the belief and opinion you have about the event.
Imagine having the ability to release these emotions that are keeping you stuck. It begins by understanding that the suffering you are experiencing is optional, self-inflicted and created by the meaning you place on the situation that occurred. It’s the story you created about the event. The more you see yourself as a victim in your story, the more likely you are to suffer.
Learning to be OBJECTIVE, is the one success habit, that once mastered will truly have you understand that suffering is optional.
What is Objective?
Objective can be defined as: based on real facts and not influenced by personal beliefs or feelings.
Here are 3 practical steps to manage your thoughts and feelings that may be holding you back:
1. DEFINE the event!
What actually occurred, just the facts! It’s important to separate what happened from your opinion. Your opinion is all the possible interpretations of the facts. Your perception of the event. Being objective allows you to look at the event absent of emotion.
2. Be AWARE of your beliefs and emotions!
This is to identify your beliefs, internal bias, and the emotions resulting from your interpretation of the event (anger, shame, blame, etc). It is only when we are committed to understanding the facts that we are able to suspend judgement, be objective and respond to a situation rather than react.
3. LOOK for the lesson!
When an event occurs and you get stuck in your emotions and feelings, problem-solving and personal growth is most often impossible. Being objective and separate from the event, your feelings and beliefs, allows you to take the focus off YOU and actively work towards a solution. You are now in a position to consider the facts, and then arrive at the best possible decision or next action.
Where in your life or business are you required to become more objective. This week take a moment to identify the event as well as your opinions, beliefs and emotions. Based on the facts before you, what questions can you ask yourself to determine your best next steps?
Enjoy the journey.